A few days ago Angelica dressed her baby, Violet, up in one of the dresses she wore as a baby. She had a blast. She really loves that baby doll. I got Violet for Angelica on her third birthday. I also got her a bassinet, a bottle of juice and a bottle of milk, a baby bathtub, and some blankets and accessories to go with Violet. My hope is that she will pass Violet onto her children as I have passed my Holly and my Buffy to her. I hope to keep Violet in the family for years to come, as I do Holly and Buffy. I hope she doesn’t just have boys….
Right now Angelica is playing with Grace, our babysitter. I have been reading and writing, and I ran out for awhile. First I picked up a few new towels at Bed Bath and Beyond. Then I drove up Cheyenne Mountain. The view from there is beautiful. You can see the entire town and across the prairie for miles.
My Uncle Jerry is coming Tuesday. I am looking forward to that. He has never met Angelica before. Uncle Jerry was a great uncle to me. I am looking forward to him meeting, and getting involved with, my daughter. I am excited to see him! I haven’t seen him in five years.
We got our plane tickets to fly out and see my parents at the end of June through early July. I have only been away from home for a few months, but it feels much longer than that. I am looking forward to going to the beach with my mom and to the movies with my dad. At some point while we are there I hope to see my sister. And I know Angelica would love to hang out with Aunt Bridget.
My veils remind me daily to submit to my husband. But more than simply supporting my husband in the decisions he makes for our family, it should remind me to be gentle. Serenity is precious in the sight of God. As a woman I should cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit. Lately I have been under a lot of stress, and I have somewhat lost touch with my femininity and my role as a wife. Some of my old, hard edge has come back. I need a refresher on patience, quietness, calmness. I need to be more humble.
I need to increase my prayer life. Drawing closer to God will refine me until I am the woman He wants me to be, and the wife my husband deserves. It is also important to me to set an example of kindness, submission, patience, and love to my daughter.
Part of the answer is to be more intentional when I wear my veils. I have been wearing them for a long time now, and perhaps putting on my veils has become so routine that I have let the beauty and power of it fade away. Wearing my veils has become too mundane. I have lost touch with the spirituality of headcovering. It is time to start donning my veils with intention. Before I put my headcovering on I need to pause and think about the meaning of it. I need to commit to obeying God, submitting to my husband, being gentle, guarding my tongue, and having a sweet and quiet spirit. Headcovering should never be mundane no matter how vital it is to headcover daily. Just as we should strive to pray daily without letting our prayers become rote, I need to headcover daily without letting my headcoverings become just a daily part of my wardrobe. It is so much more than that. Headcovering is spiritual, feminine, and powerful. It has brought me closer to God. I need to leave my complacency and let the headcovering that God expects of me bring me closer to Him. Obeying the Lord pleases Him, but doing so intentionally is even better.
Someday, I hope my daughter will be a mother. This is a picture of her at church on Mother’s Day holding the carnation I was given. She really wanted to hold the flower!
Seeing my baby with babies of her own will undoubtedly be bittersweet, but I do want to see that. I hope Angelica loves being a mother. That is the important thing. Women that love being mothers do a better job with their children than women who don’t. The experience of motherhood is so wonderful and refreshing, and I hope that she can really embrace that joy.
I hope she doesn’t sweat the stupid stuff. There is so much conflicting parenting advice out there. Really though, you don’t need advice at all. Use common sense and figure out what works for you and your kid. I want her to know that she doesn’t answer to anyone but God for her parenting, not even me. There is no perfect guidebook. Parenting books are interesting to read, and if you find something in one that is of interest then by all means use it. But it is not necessary. She will know how to raise her child without being told.
I hope that she comes to me when she needs a break. She should have a babysitter too, especially if she doesn’t live near me. There is nothing wrong with having a babysitter and getting time to yourself. But Angelica should know that if she needs a break I’ll walk up the street (or fly across the country) to come and take care of my grandchildren while she and her husband get some much needed time of refreshment and relaxation. Having time to yourself makes you a happier person and a better parent, and I hope that comes across to her as she grows up and sees how I do things. Don’t be a martyr. If you truly don’t want the time off that is one thing, but if you do you should take it.
She should document as much as she can. I sometimes drive my daughter and my husband nuts with all the pictures I take. But at the end of the day I have all these memories and scrapbooks preserved. I do not have the best memory anymore. Photographs will help me relive the best years of my life when I am old, and will give me a legacy to pass down to Angelica so that she can view her own childhood and have that to keep. Sometimes it is good to stay in the moment and just enjoy it, but overall it is better to have a camera or phone. You’ll never get that moment back, so preserve it.
I hope that Angelica has the opportunity to be a mother, and I will help her in any way I can if she does. If she does become a mother, I just really pray that she loves it and that she makes the most of her memory making years, and that she is confident in her decisions and maintains her identity.
Yesterday we went to Lowe’s looking for an aerator. While we we were there we ended up walking through the garden section I fell in love with a type of flower, one in yellow and one in orange. I’ll post the yellow one later.
These flowers are my new little friends! They are so cute and were so adoptable. I now have them potted and in front of the porch. I’ve actually never bought my own potted flower before. I love my little friends. I need to name them. I think the yellow one might be Sunshine (original, right?), but I’m not sure about this one. Tangerine would be cute, but she isn’t really the color of a tangerine. She is so fiery, like the sun. Maybe I will name her Corona. Wait, that goes together! Sunshine and Corona! And they are sisters!
I’m so happy!