On Thursday I went to the doctor. I now have an appointment set up with a GI specialist to see what is wrong. It’s really important to see why I keep throwing up all this bile. My esophagus and throat feel exhausted. And of course my teeth are going to rot out of my mouth if I don’t stop doing this. I also got a referral to see a gynecologist to get rid of the fluid I have in me from the cyst that burst. He gave me nausea medicine and stomach medicine to carry me through until I can see a specialist.
Angelica is loving life. She gets to hang out with her friend pretty much every day. They’re hanging out as I write this. Her friend was here for lunch and now she’s going to be here for dinner.
I went to the art museum yesterday while the babysitter was here. I brought my husband’s camera with me and was playing with the settings. What I figured out was that if I set the camera in HDR mode and then use manual and change a couple of other things that I need to remember again, I can do those really great shots where there’s different layers and everything is blurred. It basically photographs the light if you do it right. I met an employee there who is artist and it was really nice to chat for a while. Once again though, and the seems to happen almost every time I visit an art museum, I got tired and dizzy. Honestly I think it’s the aspie in me combined with the bipolar. So many colors and lines and stuff everywhere. I feel dizzy, I sit down, and then once I’m ready to get up I usually head home. Regardless, I got some interesting photos that I can’t wait to transfer from the camera to my computer and then to my phone where I can edit them. Of course I have the Affinity software to and I would definitely use that, but I just have a phone app that I really like as well.
I also bought a framed piece of wood at Michaels. I have laid down a primary layer of paint. From here I am adding letters and all sorts of things. There will be colorful mirror glass spread throughout. I plan to dye the letters that I bought with alcohol ink. I’m really excited to be taking this on.
I got into a last-minute doctor’s appointment today and I will see what they say. So last Sunday I went to the emergency room because I have been throwing up bile for hours every day for awhile. They couldn’t find anything wrong and said it was a stomach bug. Well 4 days later and I am still vomiting bile every day. Something here is not right. Something here is very wrong. This is not a stomach bug. So back to the doctor I go.
Angelica has been doing work to earn an allowance lately. Fundamentally she has to have a perfectly clean room at the end of the night. If she does, she earns a quarter. This morning she is earning an extra quarter by bringing a load of her father’s clean clothes upstairs. Naturally she has to take more than one trip. I appreciate it because getting up and down the stairs is a lot and the fewer times I do it a day the better. She is really enjoying earning money for different things.
Neighborhood kids have been coming over to play constantly. It gives me joy to see her play with other kids and have so much to look forward to! Lately our home has been fun central with kids circulating through. Sometimes one of the girls is here for hours. Angelica is so happy!
Academically Angelica has really been blossoming. Her love for science bodes well for her academic future. She wants to go through the books we have. She also loves to watch video clips about a variety of subjects. YouTube kids is a great way for her to learn and see different things. I really like that app. It’s great for parents because you can add what channels you allow your child to watch.
I really wonder what Angelica will be someday. Will she be a scientist? Storm chaser? Video producer? There are so many things that she could be. It’s fascinating to watch her bloom. That’s the thing with kids. If you plant a rose bush you know you’re going to get roses. When you make a baby you have no idea what you’re getting. What is my daughter becoming? Whatever it is I can’t wait to see. She might be a hairdresser or an artist or own a grocery store. She can do anything. It’s all dependent on her aptitude, interest, and work ethic. This is one of the joys of being a mother. Giving your child the resources and then allowing them to become what they are meant to be.
Lately I have done very little veiling. At this point I am conflicted. Do I go back to using daily discipline to wear my veils? Or do I take some time off and reevaluate?
It has been hot lately and I haven’t wanted anything else on my head. Lame excuse but it’s true. While it doesn’t get as hot and miserable here as it does back in the Southeast, we are still adjacent to the prairie and it does get pretty hot on bad days. I dread having anything else on my head.
Then there is the issue of being sick. I began to fall off the wagon with my head covering when I started not feeling well. The summer has been a mix of not feeling well mentally and not feeling well physically. Sometimes both of them suck. Other times I might feel fantastic mentally but physically I feel like crap. Or vice versa. And as a result I just want to go out of the house and not worry about it.
I need to dive back into the verses of the word that cover head covering. I started wearing head coverings as a symbol of submission to my husband and God, as well as a reminder to submit to them. I do feel like I’ve made great strides with those things. Especially with submitting to my husband. I still have days where I am kind of willful and difficult to deal with, but by and large I accept my husband’s decisions. I contribute to them obviously, but I accept them. I admire my husband’s leadership and I want him to lead me and our daughter and set the direction for our household. The question is do I need to continue wearing the head covering daily if I am accomplishing these skills? Would it be best to save them and then begin wearing them again if I realize that I have fallen off the wagon and I’m not doing what I should be doing?
Also, my husband likes to see my hair.
Spiritual practices do not become superfluous because someone does not feel like having the disciplined pursue them. If I need to wear a veil please God then I should continue to do so. I am just not sure what the holy spirit is telling me. Whatever the holy spirit says, the holy spirit will not contradict the Bible.
We are looking for a new house cleaner. I hopefully have someone coming to interview today. We’ll see how it goes. I don’t want to go much longer without someone to clean. Obviously, I clean too. But I definitely need someone to come on a regular basis and do cleaning.
I have been sick. I have been vomiting bile for hours every day for several days. I finally went to an emergency room to make sure that everything was okay and that I didn’t have a recurrence of a medical problem I have had before. They took a CT scan and said that everything was good. They gave me some medicine for nausea, and I’ve been taking that for 2 days. It helps a lot more than it did when I was pregnant. They also told me that I have a cyst on an ovary that probably needs to be fixed. Sometime this week I will call a gynecologist. I just really don’t feel like it. I don’t want to go into one. So if it’s not too big I will probably just let it burst. It hurt like hell the last time that happened to me but at least I didn’t have to go in for one of those god-awful exams. It’s just important to make sure that the cyst is not above a certain size because if it is you can have a lot of internal bleeding when it ruptures. I am just beyond grateful it wasn’t the problem I was afraid it was.
It must be a stomach bug, but this is a very unusual and long-lasting stomach bug.
I have been doing some writing but not as much as I would like. On a bright note, I have begun writing horror (what a weird sentence). I’ve been talking about it for ages, but I put fingers to keyboard and I started a story. I have the beginning how I want it, although as usual I will have to revise 50 more times. I just not sure how I want it to end. I’m not sure where I want to take it. And I have a second story in the works.