My Bunny

Almost every time my husband deploys, I adopt another family member. Last time Craig deployed, I adopted Parsnip. Craig is on a shore tour right now, so he hasn’t deployed in awhile, thank God. He only has to go away for a few days at a time. But on his last deployment, I drove from Moyock, NC to Newport News, VA to adopt baby Parsnip.

This morning Parsnip jumped up on the library sofa and went to Craig’s uniform. He was debating between snuggling on it and nibbling it. Then he saw me. He decided to hop off the sofa.

Parsnip is my little friend. It is a always so wonderful to wake up, go down stairs, and set Parsnip free. He is my little emotional support animal. Nothing totally spares me from my Bipolar symptoms. But before I hit the bottom of depression or the top of mania, my more mild symptoms can be partially alleviated by Parsnip’s company.

Starting 2019

The new year is here. I hope it will be a good one. A big focus for me in 2019 will be reading. I know that sounds silly since I read a fair bit anyway, but I want to make a conscious effort to dive in and really educate myself and stoke my imagination. How much can I learn this year?

Spending time with my husband is another major goal I have. I want to go on more dates. It isn’t that we don’t date; it is that we don’t date enough. Right now Craig is on a really awesome tour where he never deploys and seldom goes out of town. His hours allow him to be home with Angelica and I. I need to take advantage of this. His next tour could be a sea tour and he might be gone all the time. During the past few years before we came to Colorado I didn’t see Craig very much.

I want to rest and really focus on keeping my mental health strong. Bipolar is never easy, but by keeping my stress at a minimum, sleeping when I can, doing things that make me feel good, and asking for help when I need it, I can relieve some symptoms. When I am able to say yes to a social function I will, and when I feel like it is just too much I will say no. I do want to try and do more social things though. There are people I want to spend more time getting to know.

Welcome, 2019! I hope you will be good to me, and that I appreciate you. Time is such a gift.

Prelude to Homeschooling

Today we had a preliminary run for homeschooling. Angelica’s curriculum for kindergarten will not arrive for another week or so. But she has this wonderful dry erase tracing book that teaches her how to write letters and numbers. She really got into it! She liked it! We worked on the letter P, the letter R, the letter q, and the letter M, as well as the letter s. That was the hardest one though and I don’t think she has mastered it. But Angelica made great progress overall, and I think she really learned a lot so we’re going to keep using that book until the curriculum comes and maybe even after that. I hope that she continues to take joy in learning. And it was nice to have Craig help starting out, but sometimes I will be schooling her when it’s just me alone. I hope I can do a good job.

Weight, Gown

I am down almost 10 lb in 2 weeks. My wedding and engagement rings have actually gotten looser and fit a lot better. They were too tight before. I was wearing them, I always wear them, but they were really tight. So far I can’t see a big difference in the rest of my body except that my waist is a little bit slimmer. But I know it takes time. Mostly I’ve been really pleased with myself for sticking with it. A thousand calories a day is definitely an adjustment. But so far I have been strict and firm and it’s been going great. Just the fact my rings aren’t too tight anymore shows that something is going on. And it’s harder to see a difference in yourself when you look in the mirror everyday. Often other people that haven’t seen you in a while can tell easier whether or not you’ve lost or gained weight. So I don’t know whether my weight loss is visible or not but it is possible that somebody who hasn’t seen me in a while would immediately notice a difference.

I have a long way to go but so far my results have been encouraging.

Craig and I have a ball to go to, a big one, and on Saturday we went shopping to find me a formal dress. At the first store we struck out.  We went to David’s Bridal and I found a dress that fit me but I wondered if it was formal enough and it didn’t really have any style or flair. So we tried another shop across the street, a locally-owned shop. They had absolutely stunning dresses in all sizes with a lot of artistic flair. I got a dark blue dress with jewels all over it, mermaid fit, sheer up top and down the back (but not in a trashy way), sweet heart neck line, with a whole bunch of tulle that flares out at the bottom. I will definitely post pictures of it the day of the ball, which is May 11th. Tomorrow I take it in to the tailor to get it taken in, shortened, and to get bra cups sewn in.

Today the new vanity that I ordered arrived. It’s sitting on the front porch right now because the box is 80 lb and I can’t lift it or even slide it enough to get it into the house. So I just go outside and check on it once in awhile, but living on base is pretty safe. I can’t wait for Craig to put it together. I’m really looking forward to having it. It’s a beautiful vanity and having it will enable me to clear a bunch of makeup and other supplies off our cluttered bathroom counter.

Park, Patio, Planes

Today was a positive, busy day. We started off our day going to the museum on base. It is an aviation museum and had several planes, including one that we got to go in and explore. We also got to go into the original hangar from when this base was just a regional airport owned by Colorado Springs. There were all sorts of exhibits and it was very technical but still interesting.

 

I took Angelica to the park with my next door neighbor A and her son Matthew. This is the third time since we’ve moved in that Angelica has gotten to play with another kid. It makes me so happy to see her interacting with her peers and having fun. Where we used to live in Moyock Angelica never had anyone to play with and the neighborhood was really lacking in amenities. There were no playgrounds or parks. Here they are all over the place (we even have a neighborhood splash pad and skate park) and Angelica has so many places to play, and I have been meeting people. I hope to get involved with the base chapel and go to some Bible studies.

Learning to play is definitely a work in progress though. I noticed that today when Angelica was playing with Matthew, and I noticed that last night when Angelica was playing with R’s son. She gets upset with other kids easily and doesn’t always know how to go with the flow. In typical only child fashion she also runs off by herself a lot. She’s never really had the opportunity to be around a lot of kids. She’s never gone to preschool. She doesn’t have any siblings. She hasn’t gone to an in-home daycare in a long time and cried and begged to be kept at home when she did last go to one. Angelica always longs for other kids to play with but until we moved here it didn’t seem like she was going to have very many opportunities. Here I am working on making friends for both her and me and it seems like she will have more kids her age to play with. We met another mother today who has a daughter who is also named Angelica, and we met another neighbor with a little girl named Piper. Then I am making a couple of new friends out in town and they have kids her age. I am still trying to get us plugged in but it seems like there is so much more Community here.

While we were at the park Craig put together our new patio dining set we bought at the Exchange a few days ago. It is red, which I love, and super comfy.  It has six chairs, a glass table, and an umbrella. We have a big covered back porch here and I want our next project to be getting a patio sofa. We have room out there for both.

Prairie, Mountains, Weed Dispensaries

So much has happened since I last had time to write. We left our little yellow Cottage behind and drove across the country from the Eastern seaboard to the Rocky Mountains to start a new life in Colorado. Along the way we got beautiful views of Appalachia, got a tour of the Midwest, stayed the night in Kansas City and hung out with one of my dearest friends, and drove across the beautiful Prairie of Kansas. By the way, Kansas is not completely flat. There are some really pretty hills. The trip was very taxing and my nerves were shot by the end of it but I really got to see a lot of this beautiful country.

Now I have arrived in the most beautiful leg of the journey, the end of it. Colorado Springs is really cool because it’s right where the Prairie meets the Rocky Mountains. So if you look one direction you have gorgeous mountain vistas and if you look the other way you see the sweeping vast Prairie. Our house has both. If you look out the master bedroom window or the beautiful window over the master bath or the window from the craft room and office there is a picture perfect view of Pikes Peak, Cheyenne Mountain, and others. It’s breathtaking. Especially when you watch the mist and fog and clouds roll over the Peaks. Out the front windows at the house we can see the Airfield in the prairie between our neighbors houses and we can see for miles.

Our house has a formal living room, a formal dining room, built-in desks upstairs and downstairs, four bedrooms, several closets, and a huge laundry room with a deep sink and a counter for folding clothes. The bedrooms are smaller than they were at our little yellow cottage but they are still a good size and the house overall is pretty big. I really love our new home.

The neighborhood has playgrounds everywhere for Angelica and even has a splash pad she can play on in the summer. I really like military housing. It is nice and spacious and has a lot of amenities. I also like the sounds of revelry and taps, the music that they play in the morning and in the evening and at 10 at night. It is soul stirring to lay in bed and hear it. It is something unique to military life. It’s something I think Angelica will remember from her childhood after spending three years here. We will be here until she is 7 years old. I think it’s a unique little memory that she’ll be glad to have.

Craig and I have begun to explore Colorado Springs a little bit in between getting our stuff and moving in. We’ve only been here a couple of days so we don’t really know our way around but we’ve done some driving. And all I can say is wow. There are a lot of weed dispensaries. Like it’s ridiculous. They are all over the place. How much weed do these people buy?

The weed dispensaries are what really stand out in town. I’ve never been any place like this. I’ve never been any place it was legal to sell weed, let alone that there were so many places doing it. But beyond that there’s a quaint little area of downtown with interesting little shops that I think it would be fun to explore on a warmer weather day. We’ve only been to a few restaurant so far but it seems like there’s a lot of International Food here so Craig should like that. Personally I’m not culinarily adventurous so it’s not really my thing but I will go for Craig. Overall though, in spite of the fact the town is really spread out, I would say it looks like there’s less shopping here. Also, everything closes early here. Shops and things downtown are closed by 6 or 7 or earlier. The base exchange is way smaller than what I’m used to in Norfolk, which of course I expected since Norfolk has the biggest Exchange in the world. But still it was quite shocking to see the difference. However I can still get my makeup at this Exchange. And I got some beautiful decorative eggs for Easter.

I have more to write about these are just some initial Impressions. I’m glad to be back to blogging.

 

Count Down to Colorado

The move is coming up fast. The guy from the moving company came out Friday to count how many mattresses and big pieces of furniture we have. We received  a list of things to do before the packers arrive the day before Valentine’s Day. We need to separate out everything we are bringing ourselves before they get here. Of course, my crystal is coming with us.

I am trying to maximize time with my family before we go, since we are going so far away. Angelica spent Thursday and Friday with my mom and dad, and she spent the weekend in Richmond with her Aunt Bridget. She had a blast. They went to an aquarium at a historical site, got ice cream, made cookies, watched Veggie Tales, and Angelica got to meet one of Bridget’s friends. She was sad to come home! Hopefully she can spend another weekend with Aunt Bridget before we go.

Although Craig has a little more than a month left at his current job, it was already time for the Hail and Farewell for his office, so the command went out to dinner at Vino together and welcomed the new people while saying bye to those who are leaving in the next couple of months last Thursday. Craig’s farewell speech was the funniest by far and he got several people humorous bail gifts. I was pleased because I had no anxiety. In the past I’ve had a hard time with Craig’s command functions. Social situations make my anxiety so much worse. But lately my anxiety has been so low that I spent an entire dinner out with Craig’s coworkers and their wives calm and happy. I didn’t need even one Clonopin. In fact I haven’t taken a Clonopin in about 2 months. I’ve had some low level anxiety in that time, but nothing unmanageable. Always very fleeting. So all in all it was a great evening. We had a good time and I didn’t have to take pills or excuse myself to get through it.

I am trying to find a psychiatrist in Colorado Springs but from what I’ve seen and from what I’ve been told there’s a shortage. One office lady told me the psychiatrist in her office was retiring and referring people  to general practitioners because he didn’t have a psychiatrist who would take them. I guess I just have to keep calling around. I can’t go without one. I have so many different kinds of doctors to find out there.

Then of course I have to find a good housekeeper, one with access to base since we will be living on base. It is hard to find someone for a reasonable price who is  trustworthy and does a thorough job. We will miss Sherry.

Most of all it is going to be hard to find a good babysitter. Our babysitter here, Linda, is beyond perfect. She does so many wonderful activities with Angelica and is just so good to her. She reads to her and does pinterest crafts with her and plays music for her and flies kites with her and does educational activities. Linda even helps with things around the house while she is here, and she is always very flexible with scheduling. Over the past year she has become more than a babysitter. She has become a friend. We hang out when she isn’t babysitting Angelica. Linda is one of the friends I will miss most when I leave. How am I going to find someone else to be so great with Angelica? How am I going to find such a good friend in Colorado?

Colorado is a whole new world. I have to build a new life for myself in a way. I have no family there, and normally I spend a lot of time with my family. I have no friends there. I don’t know where the stores I like are out there, or where the good local places to go are. I’m not connected to any other moms there, and I need to find some so Angelica can make friends. We need play dates. I don’t have any of the doctors we need. I don’t have a babysitter so that I can take time to myself or go to appointments. I don’t have a cleaning lady, and that’s just nice to have! Basically I’m starting from scratch and I have no support system. When Craig starts his new job I’m on my own. No company, no help.

I just have to hope my mood stays stable throughout the moving process. If it does, all this will be fine and I can take my time building a support network of friends and others. The big worry is that the change and the stress will set me off high or low and I will need a friend and a sitter and my family and won’t have any of the above, and Craig will have to start work. But I’ve been stable lately, so hopefully that gives me a firm enough foundation to go forward. With Bipolar you just never know. But the adventure begins February 23rd or 24th.

A Question for Blog Followers

I am toying with the notion of combining poetry and my personal life on this blog. Right now I run a separate blog about my daily life, but some part of me wants to be authentic here and write about myself, as well as catalog my poetry. However, I don’t want to bog down blog followers with information they don’t want.

About me: I am a married mother of one, a Christian, a Bipolar sufferer, on the Autism spectrum, a scrapbooker, and a serious reader. I’m a Navy wife, a synesthete, a beach girl, and a color addict.

Is anyone interested in hearing about my daily life to go along with the poetry and getting to know the poet behind the poems, or would you rather I kept this blog poetry only?